Full Moon Emptiness

2009-11-06T01:37:00.001-08:00

"I am not sure what kind of issue it is or why people are "for" or "against" reciting this song "vande mataram"... but I do know it has nothing to do with the way we live our day-to-day life... the days of freedom struggle are long forgotten and the song at this moment does not invoke any nationalism (at least in me) at all... I do not know why people make such a fuss about something as unimportant as that. How many of us even know our actual National Anthem by heart is a serious question.
Its too crude and too subtle an issue to incinerate people's minds when we have much larger and much graver issues at hand. But as usual our politicians want something to distract public attention from their misdeeds and so a stupid ploy as this surfaces.
No one speaks about how we should improve the standards of living of those myriads of people who are in murderous clutches of vicious cycle of poverty, ignorance and day-to-day molesting. We as a people should alienate ourselves from such issues and work in a direction that demands peace, brotherhood and progress in terms of providing everyone with at least basic needs, if not all the luxuries of life.
Whether your religion allows you to recite the song or not is immaterial, and even if it allows, how much that song really matters is another issue.
Guys, just forget the whole thing and start working... Bonne Chance !"

2009-11-03T05:37:00.000-08:00

Grim death took me without warning

I was well at night

and stone-dead at nine in the morning...

2009-07-20T00:06:00.000-07:00

Someone said I am alive
Saying it again and again
I am alive
I am saying it with convection
Over falsified presumptions
Of a Teutonic enthrall
With covenant of panic
I say I am alive

As we lie beneath the stars
and as the dewdrops form cover us all
And I feel the growing distrust
Of the life that sings a swansong
All along

A push to the stars
and a pull on the water
and a straight blow
consumes whats left
even a president can fix it now
With nothing but broken records
What if its too late now
If I was then I would leave
But I am still very much alive

Yes I am alive
I am alive

2009-01-21T06:15:00.000-08:00

The Unforgiven

Never free
Never be
So I dub thee unforgiven
You labelled me
So I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven
With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man strugggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away-eay
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN
They dedicate their lives
To runnning all of his
He tries to please THEM all
This bitter man he is
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN

2008-04-24T05:43:00.000-07:00

Let Me Breath

Let me breath all the air that belongs to me
'Cause my belief in righteousness of thee
Let me take a deep breath
Let me fill my lungs with life
Let me open my eyes
Let me create my world again
For the last time

The air is too fetid to sing
And I can't keep aghast so long
The illusion must die fast
Or let me strangle it at last
I crush the flower and call it a day
'Cause I can't foresee my own way

I want to fall again
But this time I want to have the pain
I beg for your hidden cruelty, your meek majesty
It is better than perverse piety, or even oblong obscenity
To sense the impending death alive again
With a heavy breath to revive again
With your eyes wide open and your mind closed
Helping this soul to fly again

I want to feel the magnanimity
And the youthful joviality
And the versatile morality
And the succumbed serendipity
And the verbose animosity
And the sober fecundity
And all that I can breath
When I live in this fraudulent society
And call upon myself flexible mediocrity

Oh please! let me breathe for last time
How eager I am to pretend too sublime

2008-04-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

इतना तो करना स्वामी
जब प्राण तन से नीकले

शीव के मन शरण हो |
जीवहा पर हर भजन हो |
तृष्णा से शांत मन हो |

2008-04-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

2008-04-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

2008-04-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

IlluminatI

Have you ever been a part of something
that you thought would never end
And then of course it did .........

Have you ever had a feeling inside you
that you never will give in
And then of course you did .........

Have you ever .......

2008-02-23T23:53:00.000-08:00

The Good Left Undone...

In fields where nothing grew but weeds,
I found a flower at my feet,
bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
and pulled until the roots gave in,
finding there what I've been missing,
and I know....

So I tell myself, (tell myself) it's wrong,
there's a point we pass from which we can't return,
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm,

All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long,
when I do I dream,
of drowning in the ocean,
longing for the shore,
where I can lay my head down,
I'll follow your voice,
all you have to do is,
shout it out!

Inside my hands these petals browned,
dried up fallen to the ground,
but it was already too late now,
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
returned this flower to the dirt,
so it could live, I walked away now,
(but) I know...

Not a day goes by when I don't feel this burn,
there's a point we pass from which we can't return,
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm...

All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long,
when I do I dream,
of drowning in the ocean,
longing for the shore,
where I can lay my head down,
I'll follow your voice,
all you have to do is ,
shout it out!

(All because of you.

All because of you.)

All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long,
when I do I dream,
of drowning in the ocean,
longing for the shore,
where I can lay my head down,
(inside these arms of yours)

All because of you,
I believe in angels,
not the kind with wings,
no, not the kind with halos,
the kind that take you home,
when home becomes a strange place,
I'll follow your voice,
all you have to do is,
SHOUT IT OUT!

(A Rise Against Song)

2008-02-23T23:36:00.000-08:00

Something in the Way

Something in the way
Getting trampled under your boots
And you never know
Why you did it,
What you ought not to

Something in the way
Never catches your view
Though you know you have seen
Not quite well though
Why you neglected it,
Which you ought not to

Something in the way
Never touches your heart
Though you know you need it
Not quite too much though
Why you let it go,
When you ought not to

Something in the way

That hinders your progress
And you scold the world instead

That blinds you from the truth
And you love darkness instead

That shapes a shapeless future
And you admire the beauty instead

That kills your voice within
And you die to be heard instead

That makes you long for warmth
And you embrace cold instead

Something in the way
Waited long for you
Perhaps too long
When it deserved not to
And never did you too

2008-02-12T04:25:00.000-08:00

A poignant song from the film TROY.........remember.......

"Remember"

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly,
It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun

I'm with you
Whenever you tell, my story
For I am all I've done

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory
Remember me

I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers
And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out, and touch you
Then I will never die

Remember, I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember me...

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me

Remember me
Remember... me...

2008-02-10T00:09:00.000-08:00

Consequence

When he deserted
The dream of his life
A desert remained
In search of its own sand
Myths were formed
In circling tones
And rumors fled
with the might of their words
The emotions glazed
with every breath
that now had no purpose
to remain in strength
The fortunes faded too
traded for mediocre lives
and the faces faded too
squandered for gaudy masks
But in the heart of his
was a meek cut
that never stopped bleeding
and never was shut
Which reminded him
Of his virtue
and vice too within
He turned to every side
For the refuge unseen
that was never meant for him
For the love unheard
that was never known to him
And he stared in the abyss
And he said to the dark
with a fear of disobedience
With shivering hands
and a spear of dreadful consequence
"Why have you found me,
of all the rest of men?
and why do you stigmatize me,
of all the beasts of men?"
And his gaze was returned
when the abyss stared back
And his nerves were frozen
when he heard the ticking clock
He heard the words
which echoed in his heart
"The choice was yours,
and the luck that you asked."
He knew he had traded
And failed for sure
all his life and those dreams
for a life with certainty
that denied him the gifts
Which he feared all the time
'cause he feared the risk to open
"Will I get hurt?"
And he had waited long enough
to make everything sure
And he now he waited
for the eternity to make sure
That he wont make any mistake.
At least this time, again.

2008-02-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

2007-08-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

We do not have any real names. Do we? What people call me by is an accumulation of varied audible and inaudible frequency sound vibrations on my ear drum that creates a sensation matching a pattern stored in my brain neurons so that the resemblance with certain parts of that pattern cause a neural connection within my brain making me feel that I am called and my motor neurons tell my vocal chords and lungs to act in a synchronization so as to reproduce another pattern what we call “yes”. Then my ears again check the same pattern so as to confirm what I produced was right or wrong. In the meantime I have forgotten that I am not my name. It is just my habit to enact this seen when certain criteria are met in my environment. I live by my habits. I do everything that I do because on some point or the other I was told to follow the pattern of the behavior and actions as a response to a certain input.

This is the origin of ME trying to live as a consequence of my environment, a mere consequence. That’s why I am humble. Even if I do not act so or say so or behave so. I seek what I do not know. I know that I should not know. If I try I will shatter my own dream, of this reality.

What is there in name? A process, a consequence, a result and a point to point at.

2007-07-09T05:21:00.001-07:00

Flow, Flow you blue sky
but let there be some clouds standing by
Never give us so serene a wisdom
That will rob us of our tranquility
And will replace feathers by shields
That will stack the money up and up
To buy an Elixir of Life instead
And will give death in return, always
To forge new mountain out of sunshine, rays

Sky O Sky what are you made of
A blue curtain of infinite size
Or a mirror to reflect earthen beauty
Contrasts Constrasts and contrasts all over
Yugen its yugen its yugen !

2007-07-09T05:14:00.001-07:00

Percussions on the memory lane
Mean nothing more than rains
On a quiescent beach
They pour and pour and pour
And fade up into new sands of time

Did it flower you, O white lotus?
Or you opened up for beauty's sake?

I asked the pearl to remain calm and composed
Shine does not wither away in sea
But eyes of a Human are more lethal
They will steal away from you, your sea itself

No paradigm, No shift,
Only peace, without and within !

It is all Relatively Well!

2007-07-02T00:36:00.001-07:00

Streets in Mumbai

Cool calm quiet

Monsoon pouring heavily

Blistering Tar Roads

And no space to move

Roads block vehicles with

Moving Maze of Human beings

Death of Emotions within

Mud, Garbage and Gutters

Don't leave anything sacred

Homes, Buildings and Shallow Space left

Filled with water, bile and waste

Cracking Minds Suffer it all

Only reason being not to Fall

No one to look at

Because nobody looks at

And we live On

And we live On.

Crest of a Night-dream

2007-07-02T00:14:00.001-07:00

A piece of paper

Came floating on the wind

I read my name on it

And the piece engulfed me.

One Step to the Heavens

Creates A mile towards Hell

'Cause both are absent

And are present here itself.

Growing are always the weeds

Who cares about Water and Fertilizers and Sun

For the tender roses though

This is never enough!

2007-06-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

2007-05-17T23:57:00.000-07:00

Preoccupation of Mind by the unreal uncertainity is a characteristic of my personality.
Why do I scribble so many words when I can simply say,

I am.

Am I Ruthlessly Imbecile?
Am I Tricking Myself?
Can I dream with My eyes open?
Or Do I only form Illusions when Reality is Hitting me all the Time?

I was fond of nature.
I still love the Divine Mother beyond all.
But it seems a subtle but certainly opaque veil hides it all.
This is like cloaking yourself and then desperately searching for light.

What I am writing now?

2007-04-15T02:35:00.000-07:00

What is God?
Nothingness.

What is World?
Nothingness.

What is Mind?
Nothingness.

What makes Matter Conscious?
Nothingness.

What is Suchness referred to by Buddhists?
What is Atman referred to by Hindus?
What is Tao referred to by Taoists?
What is God referred to by All those who follow one discipline or the other?

Is it just an Illusion?
Or Is it reality?

Is the world really a Reflexive machine responding to actions?
Is everything definable by Analyzing the mechanisms which occur?
Or is there a Motive, a purpose behind all that takes place or happens to happen in this World?

A quest that attracted Human Race all the time starts from Nothingness and ends in Nothingness.

A spurt of life and a speck of dust
But not the grief that rises from lust
Hampers my progress and us above all
Does it all that life offers,
A Distant light and an Invisible wall?

I search My Identity
for so long
Whithered is my Soul
running with the Throng

Hope remains still ethereal
and a quest that prolongs that, what is essential

I seek peace that never will I find
I seek life that never meant to be mine

Trying to escape fate but never will I
Deceiving myself that it always passed by

The grass is still green, but always on the next hill
Giving me hope to crawl, until the world is still

Sometimes boring poems do have some meaning
And but Of course Great Songs seldom lack it !

Thanks for your patience, but the poem will never end.

2007-04-15T02:07:00.000-07:00

Mind is an Illision.

Attachment is Suffering.
Ignorance is Bliss.
Wisdom is Prescient Selfishness.
Knowledge is Silence underlying a Shouting Cause.
Ruthlessness is a Virtue.
Power is the Primary Motive behind the existance of human life.
Truth is Crooked reflection of Reality mistified by Perceptions.
Strength resides in What makes you Weak the earliest.
Humanity is Unconscious Piety.
Value is a Distorted Expectation from Oneself.
Appearances are Always Deceiving.
Righteousness is the most biased thing in this world.

Behind every act of compassion lies a Dark motive.
Behind every act of aggression lies a true Recognition of a Weak soul within.
Behind every act of surrender there is a Conscious Fear and an Unconscious Rage.

Hatred binds a man more firmly to his Destiny than Nature.
Cruelty is Authenticating Disrespect of oneself.
Slavery of oneself is the cost of Freedom.

Thinking is what makes us Human.
Thinking is what restricts us as Humans.

It is sometimes good to Act than Wait, but it is always Better to Think than Wait.

The World is Reality.
Let Us Face it Without Involving in It.

2007-04-09T00:59:00.000-07:00

I am writing this for the sake of curious question that Harshal asked me.
I really do not know. I believe that there is nothing called God existing in this world. I refuse to accept God's presence. I feel that makes us weak. The idea of someone ruling us without our own consciousness or limited senses makes me truly Helpless.
Perhaps that is the only reason I refuse to accept such an Idea.
But, but when we live as human beings in this world, and consider ourselves responsible for the world that we live in, we grow in, there are more than one occasions, actually a plenty, when we do feel helpless.
Atleast for a moment or two we feel utterly helpless in the hands of circumstances, and we can not change this world at that instant.
What should we do then?
I do not know.
The agony creeps in crushing my spirit at those times. Really.
Some things never change however hard you wish them to. Some things do however hard you try to keep them unchanged.

And I feel an urge to seek someones help. Someone who is not an external to me, but whom I pray to come up from within. Who shall pull me out of exactly that feeling of helplessness due to which I accepted to refuse God.

And I pray. I pray to myself. I ask myself to help me, but I am not the one whom I am referring to. It is something too complex to put in words. More than words that I am referring to. But it works. It helps me to counter the wrath of my own self, to pull out of my own cobwebs of Dark memories.

So I pray, and the entity to whom I pray I am compelled to refer to as God since there is no other name given to such a phenomenon. No other apt name other than God.

So I pray to God, not to whom who is without and external but to whom who rests within, and who drives me from within.

I hope I have answered your question, Harshal.
I fear I have not.

It seems the paradoxes will never leave me alone.

It seems the world is full of them.

Making me pray again.

P.S.: Thanks Harshal and Ashutosh for their valuable comments. Do provide with such enriching feedback.

Provoke me to think, I am yielding to the pressures, not from outside, but from within.

2007-03-10T23:36:00.000-08:00

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your power but for power equal to your tasks. Then doing of your work shall be no miracle but you shall be a miracle yourself. Everyday you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life that has come to you by the grace of god. Not in doing what you like but in liking what you do lies the secret of happiness.

2007-03-09T20:07:00.000-08:00

God has not promised
skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our life through;

God has not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.

But God has promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labour
Light for the way.

- Wings of Fire
Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

2006-12-11T18:25:00.000-08:00

Question...........

Question is an integral part of our life.

There is a specific purpose for each question.

A question is caused to guide you.

Every decision made has a question that guides it.

Every question gives rise to a number of possibilities which may be dependent or independent of each other. Each of the possibilities corresponds to a distinct universe. As a question is answered the answerer is carried into the universe corresponding to the possibility he has choosen. The reality is defined separately in each universe.

There is no such thing as an answer to the question.

The relevance of an answer is defined by the universe to which the answerer relates.

Questions are never caused by discripancies in the outside world. They originate from the fundamental error in human mind. The urge to correlate and to reason things.

Illusion of causality makes questions appear relevant.

There is no such thing as relevant questions.

There is nothing called a question. It is your mind in an irrational state.

There is no spoon.

2006-12-04T00:23:00.000-08:00

"I did what I did because I had to do it."

"You have already made the choice. Now you have to understand why you have made it."

"We are here not because we are free. We are here because we are not free."

"It is the greatest irony of human beings that their greatest strength IS their greatest weakness."

"If you had a dream that was so real that when you wake up it seems to be more real than the reality itself, how will you know?"

"I do not hope you are the One. I know you are the One."

"This system is based on certain rules. Some of them can be bent, others can be broken."

"You do not need air to breath in this world, do you?"

"The problem is not in your technique. It is in your belief."

"You cannot bend that spoon. It is impossible to bend it. Because it does not exist. It is not the spoon but your mind that bends."

Some famous quotes from the movie "The Matrix".

2006-12-01T06:51:00.000-08:00

Precision.
It is too complicated a phenomenon because we make it to be one.
We Need it to be one.
It is not necessary to be precise.
What do you mean by precision? Dimensional accuracy? Physical form? Sticking to the facts?
Or making a point perfectly? Doing nothing wrong?
This is Precisely not Precision.
Precision lies in bringing out the inner nature of the things and their true expression.
It means originality. It means Novelty. It does not mean doing wrong if being wrong is what the inner nature of the object. It sounds a bit weird. Does it not? But think again. It is so because we do not consider error that is beyond our recognition. Our perception. Our thinking.
And what about the error within the original object or within measurement scale or within the measurer?
The world needs harmony. The world needs function. The world is precise in its function. It is not given to the man to interfere within the nature to claim that it is not precise and then trying to alter the mother nature.
This is Precisely the fundamental error.
Obsession for precision comes from the same error.
It is our choice to decide what is Precise in its true meaning.
We try to understand the choice all the time.

The thinking is not the correct tool to understand the world.
It is not natural to think.
It is natural not to think.

That is Precisely the error.

2006-11-28T20:17:00.000-08:00

I had a dream last night.

Usually I don't remember any of them but this was an exception.
There is no rule without an exception.

I was on a mountain top. Sitting still. All around me was a deep valley.
The place was maybe Leh, maybe in Alps may be not on this Planet. I do not know that.
The curious thing was that I was playing a guitar and was singing a beautiful song.
The music was melodious, so was the wind flowing.
.
I was smiling. Without any fear of falling down I was smiling.
This was curious.
.
.
.
.
This was strange.
.
.
.
.
.

Perhaps we can enjoy this moment the most if we understand that this could be our last moment, our last breath, our last chance to enjoy life.
Life is hard and soft at the same time.
Understand the nature. Understand the change. Understand the moment.
Life is always true, always divine.
We lack the focus and the courage to accept the change.
That makes all the difference.

2006-11-28T20:15:00.000-08:00

I change as the time flows by
So does the wind
I grow as the time flows by
So does the divine tree
I learn as the time flows by
So does the enriched soul
I ask myself who are you?
The questions pass so do the answers
It is good to be a human being
It is better to be a Humane human being
It is best to be Humble Humane Human being
The time flows by as I stand on the river bank of it
Contemplating the answers which I perceive
And believe me believe me
" They change like colors from a sparkling diamond "
It is true.

2006-11-25T00:05:00.000-08:00

At all times the mind never stops thinking!
It is the minds privilage to do so.
Try to concentrate on the next thought that comes to your mind.
What is it?
Just wait and try to feel it evolve!
How does it feel?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I can say that you never had any thought!
.
.
.
.

It is the mind that generates the thoughts!
It needs references for all that it thinks!

2006-11-23T02:26:00.001-08:00

I wake up early. It has been my practice for last 10 years. At exactly 4:00am my dreams vanish. Afterall they are just dreams. I cannot remember a single dream. Why does that happen? I prefer to have a cup of milk after that. But I never get any. Instead I have two cups of tea. I prefer to exercise for half an hour but never do so. So many discripancies in the flow of life and though I can not remove them. What can be the reason? It is life.

2006-11-22T22:43:00.000-08:00

I go to desert. Scorching heat takes toll on tiny sand particles. I pick up one in my hand. He says ,"Thank you!" I ask him," What makes you say that?" He says ,"It was my duty to"
I ask," Who told you that this is your duty? It was my duty to help at least one if not all to help" He says," What made you think that? Once you help me you deny right of the others of compassion."I say," It is life."

2006-11-22T02:20:00.000-08:00

Why we try to judge others?
It is the only thing we do in our life. Judging, criticizing, differentiating, labeling, factoring and ridiculing perhaps. All the time.
What is the motive behind this? Do we really need to think?
Can we live without thinking from the past or of the future?

2006-11-21T23:28:00.000-08:00

We live our lives as we want them to be lived.
The only catch is that we do not realize that we have made the choice.
Understanding why you make the choice is living the life.
We cannot shun the responsibility so easily. It is denial of the choice of your heart.
Sun rises the way he likes, so does the earth rotates.
A flower blossoms for the sake of beauty, it does not need any excuse.
Ask a butterfly why do you fly and the reply will be sweet hum of its wings.
So is the life we live and so does it goes with this blog.
Do think what you read, because it is your nature to think if you choose to.

2006-11-21T23:25:00.000-08:00